We’re all no doubt aware of the heartbeat judgements we make about others we encounter in our lives. The labels we give them, the herds or groups we put them in. It’s a matter of human instinct after all – it kept us safe in the past and served us well. As we’ve evolved it’s become ever more instinctive yet a little less sophisticated, perhaps no longer serving us quite so well.
Having the privilege to discuss these ideas with young graduates I’ve learnt that more damaging than the labels we give other people are the ones we put on ourselves.
I figure in modern life this begins with how we’re labelled in the school system. Interesting debate on this week’s radio 4 Woman’s Hour about our love/hate relationship with the subject of Maths crystallised my thinking. Children as young as 5 are labelled on their abilities in this subject, and very few learn to rip the label off – children after all, learn to live up to our expectations, however low or high they may be.
Having been given many labels during my life I’m increasingly aware of the ways in which my continuing to wear them has hindered or helped – I was literally given a badge to wear in my geography class for the last 2 years at school which read ‘I am a disruptive element’ (shame on you Mr Webber). I believe a more accurate one would have read ‘I am so bored’ but this sounds a little defence doesn’t it?
Some labels have been placed on us by others, although many more we have stuck on ourselves. Take time to consider which labels serve you well and remove the destructive ones, the ones which hold you back, the ones which feel at odds with who you truly are. In particular think about the labels which start with ‘I’m not’ …..these are the real demons.
Finally, a Friday thought from Malcolm Forbes “too many people overvalue what they are not, and under value what they are”.
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