The same wind blows on us all ......

Having been evacuated from my home on Christmas Eve due to a gas leak (thankfully no explosions or dramas) I happily swapped my homeless status on Tuesday and gratefully returned safe & sound. I found the experience a salient and fascinating one. Principally the reaction from others in the building who announced glumly “Christmas will now be a disaster” or family friends who declared “it must be a nightmare” (no it wasn’t, no-one was hurt and our homes were safe) or people who were angry and resentful on my behalf (what’s the point, my misery would only have been inflicted on the poor sod who’d taken me in)

When I returned home several things happened – firstly an overwhelming need to tidy, clean and move furniture around, swiftly followed by a deeply contemplative state of mind setting in, and finally a desperate need to be alone – an odd reaction you might think, a more conventional one being to open a vintage Rioja and the box of Green & Blacks I’d been given by a wonderfully thoughtful friend.

Having tidied the tree and decorations away I was struck by how peaceful everything looked. In the past I have found the contrast from sparkling festivity to minimalist neatness almost too much to bear; now I found it wonderfully restorative. Settling down in my now calm surroundings I began to contemplate 2010 and what actions and behaviours I would change and those I would retain to achieve my goals. There was an interesting piece in the Guardian on the 28^th explaining why New Year resolutions are doomed to failure and it struck a chord for many reasons.

Firstly, many of the self-help gurus telling people what to do appear to be advocating powerful visualisation techniques as a recipe for success – stick a picture firmly in your mind (or on the fridge door) and bingo! you’re off. This is just plain crazy. I’m highly tuned to the power of the sub-conscious mind but it needs to be accompanied by consistent behaviour change too, otherwise it will all end in tears.

Next there are the set big-hairy-arsed-goal-gurus – lose half my body weight, make a million, travel the world, build a property portfolio, fall in love, drive a big expensive car, become more successful – these are impressive if that’s what floats your boat, however, steps are needed on the way to get you there – something seldom mentioned.

This may sound rather obvious stuff. Of course we need to identify what needs to be done and how we need to change our habits, however for the many looking for a silver bullet, or the gullible and the desperate, the charlatans message of ‘create the picture and all will be gorgeous’ is a highly seductive one. It’s a dangerous strategy and one guaranteed to propel individuals towards failure rather than steady success.

I love the approach developed by David Hyner of Stretch Development – have a big hairy goal and then identify the little steps, knowledge, training, help, support and actions needed to create it. Build each of the steps like a pyramid, making a strong foundation to ultimate achievement. And reward yourself along the way – what a joyless life it would be if we had to postpone celebration or deny ourselves until we had achieved our hopes, dreams, desires.

I’m left wondering how different things would be if more people understood the power of their reactions to life, the power of taking personal responsibility and the bliss of celebrating small achievements on the journey to our goals. My own personal recipe for success is pinned to the fridge door – Know what it is you want. Know what it takes to achieve it. Persevere.