Luxury brands - sanity or vanity?

Luxury brands – sanity or vanity?

In response to being asked several questions regarding the marketing of luxury brands I decided to include my comments in an article. The questions were –

·         What do I think of the tactics luxury fashion brands employ to encourage consumers to trust in them

·         Why we are so trusting of the 'double C' of Chanel or the red soles of a Louboutin shoe?

·         Why branding is so successful and how advertisements stimulate a desire for the product/brand in question

·         Why do we find it difficult to spend money on an expensive item if we are not aware of the brand name? Surely it is the quality we want to invest in, not simply a label?

·         Where has this 'label-desire' emerged from and how has it evolved?

Let’s begin with your apparent frustration at what makes consumers more likely to buy into a label above quality. I did smile at your comment “simply a label” and imagined luxury brand designers doing a ‘Meryl Streep’ from the Devil Wears Prada. This is my take on your questions ….

Luxury brands started as unknown, quality but new; what they have been able to cultivate is desirability, (I imagine in early days through their network of contacts fostered from birth, educational establishments, parental contacts, privileged lifestyles, sheer talent, right place/right time ….or any combination of these!)

Hold in the mind the mentality of people who occupy a world where £500 for a blouse or £200 for a scarf is seen as a small treat (the equivalent of lipstick or chocolate bar in ‘ordinary’ life). And they buy it because they can. The slavish trust of the 'double C' of Chanel or the red soles of a Louboutin shoe you mention is an external badge of wealth, the trust being that others will recognise this wealth and exclusivity and acknowledge it with appropriate deference.

The people I believe you are occupied by are those who are driven entirely by vacuous ideals of ‘association’ equalling self-worth and respect.  Being seen wearing the right label, eating in the right restaurant, driving the right car etc. is their imperative.

Parallel to this is the egotistical thought that they are the trailblazers, the people who lead the way, who others aspire to be, those who can influence their ‘tribe’ (however ridiculous this appears, especially with fashion and beauty treatments. Think puff-ball skirts, Ugg boots, injecting lamb placenta, drinking grass etc!)

Couple this with the association of price being directly equated with quality. Luxury brands simply wouldn’t be seen as genuine unless they have an associated price tag. And this constitutes part of the pleasure, being able to announce in a cool and aloof style how much something cost. Otherwise what’s the point?

So, either through privilege or talent, a brand is associated with its dominant or early adopters, (often the wealthiest or more eccentric), and so the momentum builds. Years ago this took time to build and cultivate, however, a brand becoming global and aspirational is now increasingly hijacked by a prevailing culture and obsession with celebrity (or royalty, aka Princess Diana & Duchess of Cambridge) in particular what brands they wear and love (with often dubious associations, especially in skincare).

The impact of being showcased in the media is immediate, with demand reaching unprecedented levels as a direct result of being worn by the people the media suggest ‘we all want to be like’. 

Luxury brands are successful for many reasons (consistency, innovation, design, quality etc) but in answer to the central question you are asking, (luxury brands and the obsession people have with owing the label), it comes down to a simple yet highly seductive suggestion …….’this could be you’ ……. and few are impervious to this message. 

Rationality does not apply, nor does intellect. It boils down to our accepting message that youth, beauty, desirability, sophistication and style can all be yours when you wear this brand. Perception versus reality.

Desirability, despite a recession or economic austerity will always exist. It is, and always will be, a part of the human psyche …..delusional perhaps, yet an inevitable consequence of externalised measures of self-worth and respect. No matter how bad life becomes luxury brands are like a salve for bruised egos, their desirability growing exponentially when times are hard.

Society is made up of various ‘tribes’, ‘worlds’, or ‘herds’ dominated by the wealthiest, who almost always hold the power, and who everyone else aspires to be. An element of this aspiration is what the top tribes are wearing. Aspiring tribes can ape the object of their desire simply by reproducing the ‘look’. They may not have the contacts, the opportunities or the wealth but they can feel just like them (and so project success) by copying their style. (This can also work in reverse as with the negative chav association with Burberry, or the Adidas wearing hooligan rioting for their Xbox in 2012)

What we wear, what we drive, how we look, etc is short-hand for the respect we command, how we’re valued, and so ultimately, how we’re judged by others and ourselves. Yes, it’s an entirely specious, shallow and flawed measure to the accuracy of a person’s value or moral principles, however, it exists and is becoming increasingly prevalent, so rejecting it as part of a marketing or advertising campaign for a brand would be insanity.

You appear especially confounded by the inability or reluctance of people to recognise quality, be prepared to pay a premium for this, and ignore the fact it has no label/brand association.

The label is the imperative!

Increasingly people are unable to discern or recognise quality simply because the need to be perceived as wealthy and successful surpasses everything else, and luxury brands/labels now fulfil this need by providing an effortless façade.

Luxury brands are more than “simply a label”; they are without exception the innovators, the bastions of quality and the pioneers of attention to detail.

All of which comes at a cost.

The fact that the brand gets seized upon and adopted by an apparently indiscriminate herd electing to use it as compensation or evidence of their wealth is viewed as collateral damage by most of the brands in their pursuit of quality, design and innovation.

Never underestimate floor play

How good is your floor play?

There are so many retailers wasting their money and resources on glossy marketing simply because the in-store experience fails to match customer experiences. Rather like being attracted to a woman's 'dangerous curves' only to discover its all padding and fillers! (I can say this, I'm a woman). And, it seems, the problem is getting worse because of the proliferation of online channels raising shoppers’ expectations.

If the objective of the retailers glossy marketing is to seduce us into their stores, and clicking through their sites, then surely it makes sense to ensure the end experience is just as glossy? This is, after all, where our ultimate buying decisions are made. If your floor play is poor customers get left feeling frustrated and resentful - certainly not an experience they'd like to repeat!

The face-to-face experience remains the purest form of brand experience and yet is consistently overlooked in preference for the easier, sexier and instantly gratifying world of marketing and advertisments

Exclusive research among 3,000 consumers to Marketing Week reveals that it is crucial consumers’ actual shopping experience matches what a brand has promised in its communications. Half of those polled by agency Live & Breathe say they look forward to visiting a high street store because of the image they have of a brand, only to be disappointed by poor product availability when they arrive.

The 'red thread' theory must be adopted by businesses if they want to avoid consumer cynicism, destroyed confidence and mistrust - this involves an equal focus and investment in the store experience as in glossy brand communication. Consistency is critical in the battle for loyal customers and 'forgive-ability' - saying one thing and doing another may be tempting but the impact is fatal for the success and relevance of the retailer.

Women are far more likely to notice, and subsequently become irritated however, men are just as likely to vote with their wallets and look elsewhere for the same thing.

Some things to avoid (and so invest in putting right) include -

• Tatty shop fits with poor lighting and grubby fitting rooms
• Visual pollution that confuses and overwhelms
• Uninterested and bored sales teams who know nothing about your 'stuff'
• Long queues - however great the product having to wait means perception plummets
• No-one to ask for assistance because they're all busy with tasks

Glossy marketing counts for little if you're unable to deliver where it counts - in reality disappointing customers in the store does more damage than if you'd just kept quiet and they didn't know you existed. Consumers measures of competency are rarely, if ever, the same as our own. Assume nothing. Be honest with yourself. Remain consistent. Invest where it counts most. Quit posing - start performing.

Do we need to get more like the French?

Do we need to get more like the French?

Recent research shows Brits get exactly what we deserve with service in the UK. Respondents were asked a series of questions to establish if they had ever boycotted a store or brand because of consistently poor service and if not, what would motivate them to do so.

It seems we’re largely apathetic when it comes to taking action, preferring to content ourselves with droning on about it instead. Staggeringly, less than 1% of respondents would actually complain or boycott the business.

Certainly, customer service is discussed as compulsively as the British weather…… so perhaps this is the reason why few are prepared to take a stand? Like the weather, is it that regarding service we believe little can be done to change it?

The survey results would suggest so. With over 47% feeling ‘too embarrassed’ to complain the remainder showed a troubling degree of apathy with comments such as “I simply can’t be bothered to complain because it doesn’t make any difference” or “what’s the point? They never listen to me”. 75% felt reluctant to complain to frontline staff either because of indifference or because they believed the issue remains outside of the assistants’ control “so what’s the point in giving them grief when it starts at HO”.

Rather like global warming, the problem of poor service appears to be too large, too complex and beyond our capacity to correct. And like global warming, the impact of our apparent apathy will take years to become fatal - the eventual outcome will surely be complete service extinction?

This all feels a little counter-intuitive, as very few companies will become sufficiently motivated to care or feel inclined to improve their service position as long as the paying punter, well……. continues to pay!

It seems the bar is now set so low that even small moderations in consumers’ behaviour and attitudes would pay dividends. Surely with this new-found frugality and economic downturn the time has come to sacrifice some short-term inconvenience for the losses to become long-term gains in service? Or is it that we lack the verve to become a little embarrassed, take a stand and demand change like the French do??

Scrutinised or Seduced?

Retail experiences – scrutinised or seduced?

Unless you've been on planet Zog you’ll have noticed it was Valentines Day this week, and some of the attitudes and behaviours of my friends got me thinking about how subjective ‘attention’ is, in particular with retail brands.

Personally I loathe the idea of a prescribed day of romance so resist the clichéd pressure with a fierce determination, and in much the same way I resent intrusions from retailers who think they can anticipate how I want to spend money.

It would appear retailers are better informed about us than ever before – so how come some give us the creeps while others bliss us out with their attention? In a world where we demand ‘show me don’t tell me’ retailers must now demonstrate they ‘know’ us by making the experience relevant as well as personal.

The question is how to provide us with increasingly personal shopping experiences without falling into the creep out zone?

The answer lies with the critical aspect of consent. Before retailers can reasonably expect us to be delighted with their attention (rather than feeling our privacy is being violated) they must understand that ‘knowing the customer’ now means providing us with tips, advice and offers that help us out. Actions which support our buying habits are the ones which bliss us out, and the creepy behaviour is where the retailer has studied information based on personal demographics and used this to take a punt on what we love.

And that’s the thing – we choose who we want to be close to. Before retailers can ever hope to succeed they must develop a consensual relationship based on respecting our choices rather than the ones they’d prefer we make (or the ones they’re sponsored to persuade us to make). They must embrace the notion that we’re either into them or we’re not, and start to respect this.

So, how wonderful would it be for our favourite store or brand to delight us with random surprises when we least expect it, compared to the Valentine equivalent of prescribed attention that doesn’t really mean that much.

At the supermarket instead of a loyalty card, a coupon or a voucher wouldn’t it be great if the cashier was able to spontaneously announce “we know you’re favourite coffee is blah so as a thank you there’s a free one ready for you when you next visit” or in the coffee shop they said “have that one on us today” – far more memorable and packed with surprise and delight. Yet its all based on the same techie information systems currently employed.

As in the world of relationships, we notice what people don’t do, rather than what they actually do, and the minute we start to feel taken for granted resentment and cynicism sets in. Rather like the world of romance, retailers have to place their attention on subtle seduction rather than an obvious technique. So to avoid the accusation of “bet you say that to all the girls” retailers must be prepared to support, respect and encourage what we love already – and give us more of it!

Romancing in retail ....fashion

Sounds so obvious but wouldn't it be fab if all the people working in fashion retail actually knew a little about, well, fashion! Nothing too fancy, just one or two pieces of advice they could give to numpties like me who don’t really have a clue what really suits them.

I was truly, absolutely and utterly delighted when I visited New Look in Solihull last Saturday. I confess I didn't have much of an expectation when it came to receiving service, but rather like a party you’re not looking forward to, I had a great time once I got there. I mooched the store, selected a few items to ‘try on’ (sadly, as a wizened fart, the days when I could buy something and know for sure it would fit/suit me are long gone) and this was when the delight began ……..

The fitting rooms are really rather lovely – none of the usual high street tumbleweed dust balls, dirty mirrors, chewing gum or broken doors. Next came the ‘big mirror’ experience. I don’t know about you but when I try on clothes I want out of the little cubical PDQ to get a proper look at the outfit (latent catwalk yearning perhaps?) The etched quote on the central mirror is in the tone & personality of a mischievous best friend urging you out, then, even better than that, it actually encourages you to be honest with the female next to you – if she looks gorgeous – tell her! Yey

Then the defining moment. A sales assistant who (a) knew her stuff (b) had energy, enthusiasm & charm (c) was helpful, friendly and like a breathe of spearmint fresh air. A total joy. Let’s call her retail Rosie – not more than 17, maybe 18, she knew how to engage me, advise me, share her knowledge and suggest alternatives. I just loved it – she wasn't in the slightest bit pushy, simply loved what she was doing – and it showed by the bucketful!

I took her advice, made my choices and left for home feeling like a million dollars …….all because retail Rosie showed an interest, listened and was confident enough to share her enthusiasm

What she did that was so delightful …….

• Smiled – simple & so obvious but sadly missing from high street retailing
• Paid me a genuine compliment (must have been, other customers said naarce stuff too)
• Made sensible suggestions in a charming, conversational way “tell you what looks great with that” or “I saw a lady this morning try that with a belt and it looked lovely” or “that colour really suits you, bet you’ve already got black trousers you could wear it with” and then finally, “when you’re tall it can be really tough finding the right fit but that shirt looks great” – genuine, honest and thoughtful
• She made suggestions then she shut up! Never in my face, pestering or badgering – simply available with a smile or eye contact whenever I ventured for the ‘big mirror’
• She said smiled and said thank you when I left the fitting room
• Nothing was a pain – I’m so fatigued by sales assistants huffing, rolling their eyes or tutting in exasperation when I seek their advice – they just give me attitude and I don’t need theirs, I got one of my own!!

If fashion retailers made a conscious effort to recruit individuals with the energy, brilliance and enthusiasm shown by retail Rosie then the British economy would see a significant shift upwards – we’d all be seduced into a little but highly pleasurable retail therapy.

Romancing in Retail .......skin care

Hello and a heartfelt welcome to the first addition of romancing in skin care retail, a specialist blog for all skincare therapists and consultants. The aim is to offer inspiration, thought provocation, endorsement, and touches of humour in your world of retailing skin care products.

Surprise & Delight

This has nothing to do with ‘traffic stopping’ although the effect is just as valuable. The difference with the romancing principles is both you and the customer feel fabulous with the greeting – as of now approach everything you do and say with an “every encounter counts” mentality.

Quit using traffic stopping techniques which customers dread, and you’re bored to death with. Instead, engage your charm and imagination and begin to make every encounter count.

Ban the 4 most useless words in retail

Banned from this instant are the words “can I help you?” – it is dull in the extreme and makes you look like a numtie. Replace with a few of these suggestions, mix with several of your own and make it into a bit of a game. Have fun. Laugh a little. Be authentic. Be lovely

• Compliment the person – love the style or colour of their coat/dress/hair? Then say so! Children do this effortlessly and it is charming, highly infectious and deeply irresistible – think for a minute how fabulous you feel when a complete stranger pays you a genuine compliment – so easy to do, and how much fun is it to make as your mission each day ‘discover something lovely about everyone’
• Dare to be different – so few skincare consultants smile and say hello, and I have no idea why, we’re surrounded by such loveliness – what’s not to smile about?? Stand out from the glumness and say hello & smile at everyone (yes, even grumpy knickers, they offer the greatest reward when the smile gets returned)
• Start an epidemic – smiling, enthusiasm and excitement are all totally infectious – so let’s start an epidemic. This has nothing to do with being perennially and psychotically irritating and everything to do with making the decision to communicate with energy and passion what you love about your products ……don’t love them? Leave – you do yourself a huge disservice staying with something you hate
• Show off more! – when you have knowledge about skincare you owe to me to share this knowledge. Quit assuming I already understand why an eye cream is an essential part of my battle against face migration – I don’t! Quit assuming I want to know about product ingredients and ask me what I want to know about. I must, must, must leave smarter than when I arrived so inspire me with your expertise & insider knowledge
• Answers create natural conversations – when you ask a question do you truly listen to the answer or are you waiting to speak? Asking questions is definitely the secret to creating great connections and effortless conversations so make it your mission to ask your question and then shut up! Sometimes people need a little time, especially if you’ve asked a fab question they’ve never thought about before, so give people space & time to answer instead of jumping into the silence. It really is the greatest compliment you can pay another – genuine listening is a rare and beautiful thing

The next blog will be about the ways we unwittingly confuse the customers ……until then, keep shining!

The tale of tiresome tyres and hysterical brides

Tyres and brides – not a natural marriage (sorry, should have resisted) however, the moral of the story means they did not live happily ever after.

When will companies wake up to the fact that blaming customers simply doesn’t make for ‘happy ever after’ – never, never, never ….

Take my friend who wanted a new tyre on his car. Web price shows an all-in price of £166 (it’s a very posh car). Delighted he calls his local branch, enquiring about availability. He’s then asked what the car is (uhh oh, that’ll move the decimal point to the right) to be told “that’ll be £220 all in mate” …grrrrr, he’s not your mate …..

Explaining he’d seen it cheaper on the web he then gets offered “£175 all-in mate” – so what stopped them offering this price to begin with???

The customer waiting area was unlit, the coffee machine was filthy (and cost £2.00) and the magazines were ratty …….what was the brand message being experienced?

Confident, competent, honest or sloppy, careless, dodgy – you decide

And so to the bride …..and this just makes my jaw drop

Friend getting married, doing so in major style, decides it has to be a dress to die for (metaphorically we trust) so appoints high profile designer Susan Goodchild (the £ signs are immense at this stage).

Abridged version – went to collect on Saturday, full of excited anticipation & happiness. Sadly not to last - dress has been made for what appears to be friends younger and potentially anorexic sister – it simply ain’t gonna fit in a million years.

Wondering if they’ve got 2 dresses mixed up my friend (the customer paying vast sums of money remember) is told it must be her fault!!! She must have got the size wrong!

Erm, hello, this is a designer, tailor made dress, how on earth could she have got the size wrong??

By now in tears she is told “well, you’ll just have to make do with one of the dresses from stock”.

Far be it from me to suggest the dresses from stock are any less than totally gorgeous, being told “you’ll just have to make do” is not what a bride-to-be wants to hear.

Leaving the store without a solution and spending the weekend in tears, she eventually receives a call from the designer on Monday afternoon and is told “well, you must have put on weight” (this is a lady who’s recovering from liver cancer so I think not) ……there now remains something of an impasse. Friend doesn’t have a dress – designer doesn’t appear to have a solution.

And it’s all her fault!

Obvious points here, however I just wonder how many times common-sense flies out of the window, where employees and business owners lose sight of what they’re all about. I describe it as ‘choose your battles’ ……..some customers really do attempt to take advantage, however it’s rare. Most simply expect common courtesy, understanding and a ‘what can we do to put this right’ attitude – nothing too complicated really. Staff need to understand this attitude is going to win more business, increase loyalty and create a far more pleasant day. Leaders need to give permission. Customers are not the enemy

e-tiquette – 10 email no-no’s

War & Peace

The email that goes on and on and on and on …..and not nearly as amusing as the old Ariston advert either. I often wonder if their strategy is to bore you into submission, like you’ll lose the will to live so sign up just to get rid of them

Flawed thinking – do these people really believe that we’re so captivated we have time to read their verbose ramblings?

Get to the point!! Keep your points succinct, relevant and punchy ….unless that is you’ve got stuff to hide, in which case keep rambling and we’ll keep deleting!

Flags

Not the world cup variety – flags telling me how to prioritise.

Hello??? I decide the level of importance not you. All smacks of ‘my priority is now your priority’ and is guaranteed to get me as mad as Maradonna.

My suggestion? Unless you’ve called and we’ve agreed this is a very important/open this immediately/it’s a top of the league message please let me decide where to place the importance

Reply all

This could fall into ‘cc list’ territory except for one major difference – the public row that generally ensues. Failing that, the rather tedious reading of an email conversation between the sender and the originator – either way it’s rarely compelling – it’s nothing to do with me!

The ‘public row’ happens when egos are clashing or bitchy points are being scored – perhaps making for short-term amusement but like toilet humour, soon starts to leave a lingering and unwelcome odour.

To avoid being viewed in a pretty feeble light take any disagreements out of the email arena, put your big boy/girl pants on and have an adult debate – privately

And ‘reply all’ for a private conversation is rather like naff cartoon ties or ‘you don’t have to be mad’ notices – you may believe its interesting for the rest of us – it’s not.

Poor spelling/grammar/structure/text talk

Grrrrr, one of my all time pet hates – what’s wrong with using F7 for goodness sake?

Compose. Cut & paste. Spell check. Sorted. Took a nano-second.

In the same way as emailing in text language – it just makes you appear sloppy, ignorant and incompetent.

Email communication is a pretty impoverished at the best of times but has now all but replaced the mailed letter as a method of business contact.

Hold this in mind the next time you’re tempted to believe spelling and grammar matter not a jot – they do

Finally, spelling names incorrectly – simply no excuse. This is such a deep, ingrained feature of our psyche (primary school and possibly even nursery) that you’ll cause huge disconnection by ignoring name spelling.

Forward history

Here’s a great oxymoron for you – what I mean is the email where you’re being asked to comment on something urgently which is lost in an ocean of fwd, fwd, fwd ………

Help me cut through the fog and just send me the relevant points

Cc list

I appreciate I guard my privacy with the ferocity of Sigourney Weaver in Aliens but seeing my contact details on view to the world and his brother in a business circulation is just plain bad manners.

Use bcc (blind copy) or find some email whiz who knows how to keep your distribution list anonymous.

On a slightly different tangent, being included on an email without any specific instruction or request for information drives me insane.

If your intention is to ask someone to do something please avoid cc-ing them on an email and assuming they’re going to understand what is you’re expecting from them.

Finally on the subject of ‘cc list’ is the inclusion of a superior.

It’s not big and it’s not clever. In many ways it’s the equivalent of “right, that’s it. I’m telling on you”.

Filled with politics, spiteful, childish behaviour – time to put the big boy pants on again

Wrong tone

Being all about authenticity I get pretty miserable when an email is either overly matey or full of pomposity and high-brow words that would never see the light of day in general conversation.

Use language appropriate to the recipient, or better still, use a language and tone that is genuinely how you speak (providing you’re not the ignorant incompetent who fails to use F7).

This also includes ill placed humour – misogyny is just tasteless and sexism is rarely a redeeming feature.

Think a little before sending and ask yourself how much gender stereotyping it contains – not all females love shopping and hate sport, in much the same way that not all guys are constantly thinking about sex ………are they??

We-ing over the recipient

The worst kind of email is one that is full of ‘we’. Disgusting thought isn’t it? You know the sort of thing – we can provide, we work with, we think you should, we pride ourselves on, we would like to ……I could keep adding to this but hey, that would become War & Peace wouldn’t it?

The content needs to be about the person receiving it, so consider using a narrative with me in it to guarantee I’ll keep reading.

This one area will do more to help me determine your competency, your quality, and the value I place on you than anything else you may conceive of – promise.

Rather like a first date if the email is all about you I’m going to become cynical and bored faster than a fiddlers elbow – give me a reason to open your email by providing information relevant to me, inspire me, educate me, enlighten me but please never we on me!

Bad news day

Likely each one of us can recall the unfortunate email sent out intending to be buried on a bad news day – this isn’t what I mean, I was just teasing.

This is the use of email to fire/dump/air disputes/complain – simply don’t do it. Ever, ever, ever

Visual pollution

They say a picture paints a thousand words – except when the email is so chock-full with images that finding the text in the preview pane proves futile.

Instead of being able to make an informed choice about whether to invest time reading it I’m more likely to delete – that’s if my spam filters haven’t zapped it first!

Be succinct. Signpost. Structure.

Use visuals with caution otherwise it becomes a designers wet dream

The curse of auditory pollution

Having decided to ditch the car in favour of walking, cycling and taking the train I have become fitter, firmer and frustrated.

The first two F’s require no explanation. The third F began as wry amusement which has rapidly become screaming exasperation ……public announcements on trains.

Now, please don’t misunderstand me, I believe it’s vitally important to receive confirmation of platform departures and the fact that I’m on the right train, however, the apparently arbitrary nature of further announcements appears to be inexorable.

For those unfamiliar with the intricacies of rail travel please let me explain.

It begins with the train manager announcing the type of tickets NOT valid for travel, of which there are zillions. Next are the safety announcements, to which no-one appears to be listening.

Announcements for where to safely store luggage swiftly follow – on the big space clearly labelled LUGGAGE would be my guess. Then comes another announcement from the train manager about where the quiet carriages are, with further prattling about what this means (dumbing down or what?)

Then we get the on-board catering announcement, lamely attempting to seduce us to indulge in their plastic tasting bacon rolls, molten hot beverages or poor quality wines. Even more hilarious is the catering manager’s announcement that there is no catering! Intermingled throughout these ubiquitous interruptions is the unrelenting and generic recording of where the train is about to stop, and what future stops are planned…….cross country trains make up to 20 stops …..imagine how monotonous this becomes.

Sometimes the announcements are made by individuals with a severe case of verbal diarrhoea, who, compelled to come ‘off script’ add their own witticisms (rarely are they) about the service, who they are, where they come from, what they had for breakfast, in fact just about any random fact you can imagine. All the while I just want to scream “For the love of God just be quiet”.

OK rant over……..am I the only person climbing the carriage windows in frustration? Compelled to start a campaign to eliminate auditory pollution ……who will join me???

Power of the positive

Having listened to the final leaders debate last night I was amazed by Gordon Brown’s insistence to focus on entirely negative statements throughout his concluding speech. There was not one single positive thing in that statement. He missed a glorious opportunity to reinforce all the positive reasons why voters should re-elect a Labour government by sounding scared and desperate – both deeply unattractive characteristics.

Number one lesson in customer engagement and sales – NEVER slag off the competition!!!

Almost without exception it leaves a deeply cynical and suspicious customer behind. It rarely communicates how fabulous you and your services are. It never suggests you’re an innovative thinker. Seldom does it act to strengthen feelings of trust and confidence. In short, you inevitably communicate how preoccupied you are with everything other than the customer you’re here to serve.

There are many ways in which we unwittingly undermine our authority – Gordon Brown gave a master class in alienating potential customers and causing existing one’s to disconnect.

Jobs-worth on the train

May the Lord forgive me ………I simply loathe ‘jobs-worth’ types and I managed to attract one on this mornings train journey to Birmingham.

In my endeavours to reduce my carbon omissions/ get fitter/ enjoy fresh air I have decided to start cycling the 1½ miles from home to station and then station to office……I know, my halo is glowing bright.

However, this morning’s journey was blighted by possibly the worst example of jobs worth I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter.

Let me set the scene……I get myself and said bicycle safely onto the train at International for the short journey to New Street (approx 7 minutes) and in the absence of any better place I holed-up between standard and first class, largely because the latter was empty and the corridor was wide……then jobs worth strikes!

My first error is to have underestimated the murderous intent of my cycle, something jobs worth identified in a heartbeat when he greeted me with the words “that bike could kill”. My bike? A murderer? Surely a miscarriage of justice if ever there was.

It seems what I should have done was enter the train at the opposite end, through a locked door, which only the absent staff at International could have unlocked for me. And I would know this because ……..???? Aahhh, it seems I couldn’t have known this, for only the man with the key would know.

By now I’m feeling confused (not hard I admit) which is rapidly replaced by a fit of the giggles as jobs worth grabs his mobile, puffs out his chest and complains to some faceless bicycle fascist at HO “we have a bike on the train and I knew nothing about”.

Suitably pleased with himself as he finishes his call, looks me in the eye and announces “that showed ‘em”

What a totally pointless waste of his time & energy! More critically I know see Virgin inspectors as silly, bullying and ridiculous ……more alarming is the murderous intent of my previously benign cycle!

Business or quick fumble?

A customers measure of our quality, competence and value are very different to what we might imagine. The bad news is it is rarely, if ever, determined by how brilliant we might be at something. It is almost always measured and judged by what we’re saying through non-verbal communication.

Let’s look at business cards -

In business I see companies and consultants listing endless services, I guess in the belief that as a customer I’ll be impressed by this. The opposite is in fact true.

I have no idea what it is they’re good at, they appear lacking in confidence, perhaps unsure themselves about their strengths and expertise, and so unwittingly communicate in a way which leaves me confused and doubting their credibility. Jack of all trades, master of none

It does little to create anticipation and irresistible temptation either. It’s the equivalent of baring all and leaving nothing to the imagination.

You surprise and delight your customers far more by introducing additional products and services in an appropriate and relevant manner, rather than attempting to explain everything at the same time. Better to find the judicious opportunity to unfurl your businesses breadth of services and products in a thoughtful manner than to pitch everything at once in a desperate and frantic manner.

5 tips to think about –

• Decide what it is you want to communicate with your business cards – do you want to tell all or offer just a hint of what you offer? This is often the first thing people see in a business environment or networking event. It is the first opportunity you will have to create the wow
• Consider also the ergonomics of your card – it must be able to fit into the wallet, and also business card holders. Designing something that is none-standard is flawed – if it can’t be filed it will be dumped! Confine none-standard shapes to your promotional material not your business cards

· One vital point on your cards is to ensure you use both sides. It is a missed opportunity and a false saving to only print on one side – don’t be misguided – use every available space

· Get them professionally printed. This is a necessary investment – substandard cards suggest you either don’t take yourself seriously or worse that you won’t be around very long. This may not be your intention but it certainly is what gets communicated

· If the contact details are out of date get new ones printed – never scribble details through, it just looks cheap and naff

The quality of your business cards, as with all your printed stuff will communicate more about your professionalism, how much you value yourself and ultimately how much I’m prepared to pay for your products and services. Avoid BTN (better than nothing) thinking – because it never is.

The value of ordinary

Nicholas Winterton is causing a bit of stink and the debate in our office is how accurately does this reflect (as suggested by Labour) the true face & attitude of most Conservative MP’s – do they all believe ‘ordinary’ people are the great unwashed, unintelligent and so dumb that we have little right to complain about their shenanigans?

My own feeling is that MP’s, footballers, business leaders and most cosseted celebs inevitably become totally out of touch with us ‘ordinary people’. Inevitably because they surround themselves with trusted sources who filter, spin and massage what reaches their privileged ears and so they stop listening to the very people who can tell it like it is.

I have said many times that business leaders would discover far more about how their brand is experienced and perceived simply by talking to and listening to their front line staff. These ‘ordinary’ people are critical in communicating a brand message, and they do so far more eloquently than any marketing executive or glossy campaign.

I wonder what stops them? Fear of being challenged? Fear of discovering how things really are? In the current climate many are retreating to autocratic styles simply because they have the employee by the short & curlies – this may give them a short-term gain and put a stop to all that complicated people management stuff but ultimately it will come back to bite them on the bottom.

At the first opportunity people will leave them, a cost to the business with both downtime and recruitment. Meanwhile and more troublesome, the cynical, de-motivated and disempowered employee remains in position to cause untold damage because of sanctimonious, autocratic management who fail to listen or even grasp the notion that ordinary people are creating their customers brand experience – the purest form of which is with face-to-face encounters.

Lets hear it for the ‘ordinary’ people – I look forward to meeting you in standard class!

Labels are for jars

We’re all no doubt aware of the heartbeat judgements we make about others we encounter in our lives. The labels we give them, the herds or groups we put them in. It’s a matter of human instinct after all – it kept us safe in the past and served us well. As we’ve evolved it’s become ever more instinctive yet a little less sophisticated, perhaps no longer serving us quite so well.

Having the privilege to discuss these ideas with young graduates I’ve learnt that more damaging than the labels we give other people are the ones we put on ourselves.

I figure in modern life this begins with how we’re labelled in the school system. Interesting debate on this week’s radio 4 Woman’s Hour about our love/hate relationship with the subject of Maths crystallised my thinking. Children as young as 5 are labelled on their abilities in this subject, and very few learn to rip the label off – children after all, learn to live up to our expectations, however low or high they may be.

Having been given many labels during my life I’m increasingly aware of the ways in which my continuing to wear them has hindered or helped – I was literally given a badge to wear in my geography class for the last 2 years at school which read ‘I am a disruptive element’ (shame on you Mr Webber). I believe a more accurate one would have read ‘I am so bored’ but this sounds a little defence doesn’t it?

Some labels have been placed on us by others, although many more we have stuck on ourselves. Take time to consider which labels serve you well and remove the destructive ones, the ones which hold you back, the ones which feel at odds with who you truly are. In particular think about the labels which start with ‘I’m not’ …..these are the real demons.

Finally, a Friday thought from Malcolm Forbes “too many people overvalue what they are not, and under value what they are”.

The real message behind the gesture

Don’t know about you but I just love surprises. But what happens when the surprise becomes a bit of a disappointment? Do you shut up because it was a surprise so ought to be a bonus, it didn’t cost you anything, and anyway, it’s the gesture behind it that counts ….or is it??

My recent surprise was winning a Mood clock from Orange mobile; I didn’t even know I was entered into a competition, so this made the surprise even more lovely.

Well, the Mood clock arrived in the mail today and it doesn’t work! I’m now caught between feeling like an ungrateful mare & a person who should get out more – it just leaves me feeling a tad disappointed that this was the best they could do. And yet I can’t help wondering about the thought process behind this marketing initiative by Orange.

Have they fallen into the BTN (better than nothing) style of thinking? Like all surprises they at least require a degree of thought – so what was the thinking for Orange when they send this duffer of a ‘prize’ out? The Mood clock arrived in a beautiful glossy box, complete with a ‘with love from’ gift tag – all very cute and classy, very on brand for Orange …..then I took the clock out, and oh dear, oh dear. It was almost as if they’d come from different brands! One who takes their customers and themselves seriously and one that’s a bit of Rhett Butler (couldn’t give a damn).

My whole take on the surprises thing is do it well or don’t bother. This includes personal as well as branded gifts (think cheap tacky pens at trade shows, or in this case cheap tacky mood clocks which don’t work). BTN thinking is damaging on so many levels; imagining it is better than doing or giving nothing rarely is. It remains in the mind far longer, suggests you’re a bit of a dullard and finally that you’re a cheapskate – none of which was the intention I’m sure.

Think about the quality message you’re communicating – it will determine how much I’m willing to trust you, how much I’m prepared to pay for your goods or services, or even whether I’m prepared to continue to do business with you.

Harsh but true.

Better than nothing rarely is …….

Can you afford to wear eau de self-doubt?

Have you ever met someone who simply doesn’t appear to love their own brand? Rather like Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh the fragrance of their doom & desperation fills the room. Perhaps there’s something in the air right now, maybe the moon is spinning in a different direction, but it just seems I’ve encountered this several times over the past few weeks with new coaching clients.

I’ve taken a huge risk on these occasions by saying its not sales or presentation coaching they need, it’s a boost of brand belief and a change of fragrance (metaphorically).

The risk has been because us Brits rarely want to offend or upset people, so we collude by staying silent instead of being courageous and saying it how it is. Now this doesn’t mean being offensive, personal or in any way cruel; it has everything to do with holding the other person in great respect. I’ve ‘owned’ how I’m experiencing them, how they project themselves and on every occasion they have said “thank you, I had no idea”.

If I were to put a name to their fragrance then I’d call it eau de self-doubt, and it really is a stinker! That wonderful line from the film The Incredibles keeps coming to mind ‘self-doubt is a luxury we can no longer afford’ …..it is an expensive luxury so needs to be viewed as such. Only indulged on rare occasions, best savoured alone or in the company of trusted sources (ie: those who will tell us it stinks and help us wash it off).

I figure we all experience moments of self-doubt – even the best have these moments , however I’ve come to realise it’s how we handle it when it pays a visit…..

I like to adopt my nieces approach to life & the people we have around us – a wonderful, sparkling and giddy carousel. Who do you have riding on your carousel? Do they truly deserve that space? How much time does the carousel spend stopping at self-doubt central? Does it have the smell of self-doubt?

Get yourself on the most amazing carousel, surrounded by fab people and saddle up for the ride. This doesn’t mean you won’t face adversity or set backs; plan for these, for of course they will visit from time to time – just make sure you’re not wearing eau de self-doubt when you’re preparing for the ride

simple not easy

Having just spent a couple of hours with students at City of Birmingham Uni I was struck by a couple of things. Firstly how open and how free from agenda they are – they’re not looking to prove their point, protect their position or otherwise have a vested interest in maintaining fixed beliefs.

Don’t misunderstand me – this certainly doesn’t mean they’re lacking in opinions or thoughts of their own – their challenges and questions demonstrated they have this in abundance – what it means is they’re genuine free-thinkers.

Corporate leaders overlook and ignore these guys at their peril.

I couldn’t help wondering how many of them are currently employed, albeit part-time, by brands that could genuinely benefit from engaging with them, asking for their perspective and finally taking on board their ideas?

My guess is very few, if any, of their managers have the courage or the wisdom to do this simply because they see them as part-time students rather than a source of valuable and deeply relevant perspectives.

Secondly, many of the comments made were how simple the Romancing message is, that it’s really, well, pretty obvious stuff and what is it with corporate brands that simply don’t get this?

I honestly believe that it is because it’s so simple and jam-packed full of common sense it gets missed. That it’s not complicated to implement or because it’s so obvious, somehow devalues its currency?

Sometimes when we live close to something we become so familiar with it we tend to stop paying it the attention it deserves. It’s almost as if this familiarity renders our instinctive knowledge to the ‘irrelevance file’.

Couple this with the fact that obvious and common sense things are often incredibly simple ….. but they’re not easy. Not easy to adopt. Not easy to implement. Not easy to recognise.

For if it were easy then we’d all be doing it wouldn’t we?

Warm & Fuzzy feeling

Just finished reading an article from the Chartered Institute for Personnel and Development (CIPD) about the unhappiness being felt by workers at the moment. It seems the biggest single issue isn’t earning more wonga (although this may help in the short-term) it’s to do with the lack of opportunities to learn new skills.

Training and marketing are the easiest, so first budgets to cut in response to the recession but I think they’re the one’s that lead to permanent and lasting damage once there’s an up-turn. With almost a quarter of workers developing an ‘itch’ (23% according to the CIPD) the up-turn could see an increase in employee wanderlust if employers fail to romance and inspire their key staff.

Leaders may be screaming “there’s enough to do with managing the business!! I can do without high maintenance staff” but it’s a little like concentrating on bringing home the money and never being around to share the benefits. Sooner or later one or both parties start to feel lonely and taken for granted.

Keeping staff happy, loyal & motivated doesn’t mean having to spend squillions – it means making those tiny, heartfelt gestures that create wonderful memories, oodles of ahh moments and armies of loved up employees.

Perhaps listen more attentively for hints of what would bliss them out –

• Their favourite biscuit
• Pens running out – get them a new one
• Mugs chipped – replace it
• Picture of their favourite pin-up
• Cakes because it’s a day with the letter Y in it
• Crunchie bars because its Friday
• Send a ‘you’re totally fab’ card/message

The approach takes imagination & care – its simple not easy – but it means you get to prevent costly break-ups, you reduce stress levels and best of all you get to do something really rather lovely.

And, now prepare for the warm and fuzzy feeling to happen …….

Trip down memory lane

Listening to Prof Mary Beard on Desert Island Discs this morning resulted in affectionate reminder of my angst ridden teenage world – the simple mention of ‘first bra’, PE and the girls changing rooms acted as unwelcome triggers.

For females reading this, who remembers ‘training bras’? – training for what I now wonder?? For the male contingent read on to better understand any teenage girls you may be Father to.

Training bras (sorry, unable to say this without a titter, erm I mean giggle) were wonderfully soft, powder blue or baby pink, came in packs of two, and were totally useless!! They fitted over your head and my yearning to wear one was fierce.

Unfortunately the yearning was not matched by breasts.

Similar to the humiliation faced by Prof Beard when ‘walking the line longing to be picked’, I made the painful discovery that the appeal for teenage boys did not include girls who were 5ft 10” with tits like two fried eggs - and no amount of training bras stuffed with cotton wool or Kleenex tissues* was going to alter this

So, the message for Fathers of teenage girls pleading for training bras is yield – they are a necessary part of growing up and the joy of ownership will far exceed the lack of breasts needed to fill them.

*on reflection it may have been the appearance of lumpy breasts which was so off putting

Without thinking - what's the answer?

I would love to discover what your immediate perception is if I said ‘utilities’ – so, rather like word association, I say utilities you say ????
Answers on tweet please – warmest thanks